Saturday, July 12, 2008

Is Jealousy a Part of Being In-Love?

I experience being hurt in love. Most of the time, I suffered heart breaking experiences from people that I fell in love with. From experiencing back-biting and being dumped to the experience of you totally forgotten. I understand that being in love with your partner requires a certain degree of trust and honesty as well, but with all the bad experiences I got from my relationships before made me very paranoid.

I am in a very healthy relationship of almost two months. I am proud to say that this is the longest one to date. I have a dashing and gorgeous partner who I call an angel. Very smart, loving, and has a lot of patience. I love my partner very much to the extent that I became overly paranoid of whatever my partner is doing.

I understand that everybody has their own priorities but sometimes, I would demand more. from my partner. I know that my angel loves me too, and would show it in ways that I really believe very real. Though this expression of love is not very vocal, the body language and other non-vocal signs are very expressive.

Now what about the jealousy part? Since my partner is very visually stimulating, I tend to become very insecure about my looks. I am being very protective of the relationship and I am very afraid that my partner would be taken away by other people, like what happened to my former informal relationships. Since this is the first time I am in a real and formal relationship, I am guarding it heavily against people who would ruin it. Now the question is, is this attitude towards the relationship good?

I think being jealous in a relationship is quite normal. However again, as told a million times before excess is really not good. I know my partner is sometimes pissed with my attitude and for that I would like to apologize. I only express the emotion that is driving me crazy, and I express it in a way that I know of.

Again Bhe, I will try my best not to be jealous. To understand you more and to adjust with you. Know that I love you as deep as a bottomless pit. Again, I apologize for my shortcomings and my attitude.

Sorry for everything, I love you!

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