Friday, August 19, 2011

Who am I? Walking on the Crossroads

I am a follower of the Path of the Wise. A worshiper of the Goddess Hekate- Lady of Many Names and Ianus, the Lord of the Universe. I practice magick and I manipulate energies using Sigils, Seals and ceremonial trappings as my Foci. I have been a practitioner for almost 16 years (by Sept 21) and I follow my own version of Wicca before and I realized that if you will not follow the tenets and structure of Wicca, its better to leave it and look for something that would fit your belief. Right now, I am still looking for that "accepted" religion.
I believe that the world has many gods, with different personalities and portfolios. I believe that each of these gods govern a certain aspect of human emotions (love, etc.), nature (agriculture, waters), and some are personification of Forces (Time, Universe, Heavens). They are culture specific and would govern and guide the people in their territory, hence the different pantheons.
I believe Magick is both positive and negative and it depends on the person who wields the power for the outcome to be identified as such. Magick like nature is a neutral force that can be controlled and manipulated if you know how to.
I believe that we need both the light and the dark sides of ourselves to become fully whole. If one just dwells in all Light and would not acknowledge the existence of the Dark Forces, then that person is a hypocrite. For light to be acknowledged, one has to see the dark to fully appreciate the beauty of light. Now, Darkness is not equal to being evil. It is mainly something that is more primal, the human part of our personality.
I practice a more "real" form of Wicca. Something that acknowledges the existence of a dark side and embraced it. Our Tradition- Tenebraean Witchcraft is focused on the acceptance of the "Shadow" and aiming for "wholeness". We do not dwell in just love and light, we also acknowledge the existence of hate, discord, chaos and envy as part of human nature. Accepting these emotions helps us acknowledge our human part and after this, we aim to transcend.
I guess one doesn't really need a named religion to be accepted in the mainstream. That is one of the things that I feel uncomfortable with if I am asked about it, that's why I would tell them I am Wiccan since I am a Goddess Worshiper.
Now, I am in the crossroads once more... searching for the the "right" religion. I am a priest of Hekate and Ianus and I am looking at Graeco-Roman religions or Nova Roma. I will redefine my practice to follow the one practiced by the Flamines, and finally attain the title of a Pontifex- a high Priest of the Old Roman religion. Probably I will try to correspond with people practicing the Old Roman religion and are members of the Collegium Pontificum. I hope to find someone to apprentice myself with, as a Novus Sodalis if necessary.
And hopefully, I can call myself an acknowledge Collegia priest of Hekate and Ianus. Salve Hekate Pandeina! Salve Ianus Consivius!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Dilemma of a Witch- Wiccan or Witch

I am a Witch. I worship the Old Gods of Rome- Hekate and Ianus. My introduction to Wicca was when I was 13 years old in the old musky room in UP High School in Iloilo. I spent time studying everything I need about the religion. In Wicca, I discovered the joys of worshiping the Goddess and the God and that I feel that this is the closest religion to my belief. The only "accepted" religion that accepts my faith in the Gods.

Wicca is really a great religion. The Thea/Theology of this religion is perfect for my belief since this allows me to worship the Goddess Hekate and the God Ianus in the way I see it. It is a religion of "Light and Love" and of the "Goodness and the White Light." However, my philosophy is quite different from the "Lightness" of Wicca.

The current influx of "HollyWitches- Hollywood Witches" added to the already criticized practice of Wicca. Traditional witches and other Pagan paths would scoff at the focus of Wicca to the "Love and Light" philosophy and would often label Wiccans as "Fluffy Bunnies". It is true that being positive is really good since we should not dwell in the "negativity" of life, however, not focusing on the negative side should not mean that we should ignore it. We often hear that Nature is neither good nor bad, it is both as nature is both destructive and caring. In nature, we often see death and decay as a prerequisite of rebirth and the continuation of life.

Even people are made up of two sides. We cannot exist without negativity because that would make us like robots- ever smiling, preaching of love and lightness. Isn't it creepy? According to the psychologist Carl Jung- everyone has a "Shadow" that he needs to embrace to become whole. The beauty of the negative part of the our personality is what makes us complex and unique. This negativity also makes us human. Everything is made up of two sides- Yin and Yang, Light and Dark, Good and Evil, positive and negative, left and right - God and the Goddess.

I recently read an article on this website, , that made me think about the religion I am with right now. I know that I am a Pagan but the religion that I am following may not be the one for me. I have identified myself as a Wiccan for a very long time but as I have done my rituals and my "devotionals', it deviates a little from the normal Wiccan Way.

Here are some Wiccan philosophies that I usually do differently

1. we are told that practicing the "Dark Arts" is strictly prohibited- the idea of Dark Arts defer from person to person. Personally, I do spells to coerce spirits and gods to listen to my wishes and boons. I bargain with them and offer them incense, food and other stuff. I also communicate with spirits from the Idadalmon or the Underworld and the shades of the dead.

2. Majority of the Wiccan work is centered on the magick of nature and the natural energies- I work with the magickal formulas, seals and sigls, evocation of beings, sorcery and arcane forces.

3. The Wiccan Philosophy- positivity and the white light, love and light- as I have mentioned earlier, I believe that negativity in a person is needed to be whole. Love and hate should be felt as well as light and darkness.

These are just some of the philosophies/practices that I believe and do that deviate from the "normal" Wiccan practices.

The only thing that binds me to Wicca is my love of the Goddess and the God since this is the nearest "accepted" religion to my Faith.

My dilemma now is if I still want to be a Wiccan or look for other religions nearer to my Faith. I would search and search until I find a religion that I would be comfortable in. Something that would reflect my personality and faith.

From now, I will leave the Wiccan Path and search on... I am Pagan and if ever I will be in the Path of Wicca once more, only time will tell.