Who am I? Walking on the Crossroads

I am a follower of the Path of the Wise. A worshiper of the Goddess Hekate- Lady of Many Names and Ianus, the Lord of the Universe. I practice magick and I manipulate energies using Sigils, Seals and ceremonial trappings as my Foci. I have been a practitioner for almost 16 years (by Sept 21) and I follow my own version of Wicca before and I realized that if you will not follow the tenets and structure of Wicca, its better to leave it and look for something that would fit your belief. Right now, I am still looking for that "accepted" religion.

I believe that the world has many gods, with different personalities and portfolios. I believe that each of these gods govern a certain aspect of human emotions (love, etc.), nature (agriculture, waters), and some are personification of Forces (Time, Universe, Heavens). They are culture specific and would govern and guide the people in their territory, hence the different pantheons.

I believe Magick is both positive and negative and it depends on the person who wields the power for the outcome to be identified as such. Magick like nature is a neutral force that can be controlled and manipulated if you know how to.

I believe that we need both the light and the dark sides of ourselves to become fully whole. If one just dwells in all Light and would not acknowledge the existence of the Dark Forces, then that person is a hypocrite. For light to be acknowledged, one has to see the dark to fully appreciate the beauty of light. Now, Darkness is not equal to being evil. It is mainly something that is more primal, the human part of our personality.

I practice a more "real" form of Wicca. Something that acknowledges the existence of a dark side and embraced it. Our Tradition- Tenebraean Witchcraft is focused on the acceptance of the "Shadow" and aiming for "wholeness". We do not dwell in just love and light, we also acknowledge the existence of hate, discord, chaos and envy as part of human nature. Accepting these emotions helps us acknowledge our human part and after this, we aim to transcend.

I guess one doesn't really need a named religion to be accepted in the mainstream. That is one of the things that I feel uncomfortable with if I am asked about it, that's why I would tell them I am Wiccan since I am a Goddess Worshiper.

Now, I am in the crossroads once more... searching for the the "right" religion. I am a priest of Hekate and Ianus and I am looking at Graeco-Roman religions or Nova Roma. I will redefine my practice to follow the one practiced by the Flamines, and finally attain the title of a Pontifex- a high Priest of the Old Roman religion. Probably I will try to correspond with people practicing the Old Roman religion and are members of the Collegium Pontificum. I hope to find someone to apprentice myself with, as a Novus Sodalis if necessary.

And hopefully, I can call myself an acknowledge Collegia priest of Hekate and Ianus. Salve Hekate Pandeina! Salve Ianus Consivius!