Lately, I have been too hard on myself. I always think that my life is such a mess and that all my dreams are just fleeting images flashing before my eyes- seen for sometime, then poof...gone.
I always think life is very hard, and our existence in this world is just to work, earn money, pay taxes and bills, work some more and earn more money... and in the end, your life's done and you seem to lost all the opportunity to be happy.
However, this changed when I was checking my email. I saw this Yahoo! News and I saw an article about Susan Boyle. I quickly checked on the link and I ended up watching the video in Youtube. This is about a reality show in England titled Britain's Got Talent. I was wondering what is so special about this clip and why is it in the featured article in Yahoo!.
I saw the video and I watched an elderly woman, very plain and simple walking at the center of the stage in a contest that the expected candidates are those equipped with talent and BEAUTY... with emphasis on Beauty as some "talents" on TV are short on the talent side.
When Susan was interviewed and asked about her age, she mentioned that she was 47. A trail of laughter was heard at the background and judges and audience alike are making these funny faces. Probably wondering what an unattractive old spinster is doing on stage. Susan, tried to present herself to them and she went as far as wriggling her hips but this act was also answered by mocking laughs and whistling from the crowd.
Simon, one of the shows most brutal judges asked her what's her dream and she said that she wanted to become a professional singer. I was also challenged by her answer " I have never been given a chance before, but I figure that this will probably change!" With this answer from her, I realized a lot of things... however, I am still very curious what this old lady would do, what are her inspiration, what are her dreams and what motivates her to be this courageous.
Her chosen song in this performance was I Dream a Dream from Les Meserables, a play of epic proportions and since I am also a fan of the stage, I tried to check the lyrics of the song. One of the song from the play is also my favorite- "On my Own" which was sung by Leah Salonga and that song gave me images of bitter-sweet experiences from my life...
Now back to Susan, everyone in the crowd WAS expecting this old lady to fail, even the judges reflected a face that is very cynical. However, when Susan started singing, all the doubts melted and all the mockery was changed to awe. She sang the MOST beautiful rendition of the song. I was so amazed that this simple looking woman could deliver such melody, magnificent voice and the song really seeps through your heart and emotions. A SUPERB performance praised even by Patti Lupone, the original singer of I Dream a Dream.
The lyrics of the song also reflected Susan Boyle's dreams and aspiration. She who lived in a village and took care of her mother her entire life, jobless and haven't kissed a guy her entire life. This is the part that she sang and it pierced my being as well...
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.
Realization came quick and I am inspired not to give up on my dreams. Susan gave me the poke I needed... She's is 47, unattractive to the society's standards yet she could touch the hearts of many people. While I am here, 27 years old has a fruitful life ahead of me and yet I feel depressed most of the time because i feel that I haven't done anything worthy or fruitful. Looks is also a factor in our society today, norms dictate that handsome and beautiful people always gets the job, gets the guy, gets the old rich husband or wife ad basically gets whatever they want, eventhough they lack the grey matter part.
Susan is my inspiration now. She is telling me not to give up eventhough life seems to show you hopelessness and failure. She struggled and faced adversities and mockery and prejudice but still she has something other people do not possess... a voice of an angel, a fighting spirit, a soul that never gives up and a charm that only a very few people can see... all wrapped up in an image of a sweet and bubly old lady, a lady that you might want to be... 20 years in the future too...
I Love you Susan, your voice inspires me to fight for my dreams, to realize my value and to paint this dull world with colors to make it worth living...
P.S. I am still teary everytime I watch her Video on Youtube... sissy me!!!